


A child in a wardrobe

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Backstory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Repressed Memories, Sick Valerian, bit of whump, what happened to Valerian's mother, worried Laureline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 21:05:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: A mission brings back some painful memories from Valerian's childhood and he starts getting sick, and Laureline gets worried.In the end, he tells her about what he remembered: what happened to his mother.Valerian whump, some h/c, and awesome supportive Laureline





	A child in a wardrobe

The assignment was easy: assess the state of an agent that had been reported missing, and have her give a debriefing of her last mission, and the location of her partner who had also gone off the grid. After some investigating Valerian and Laureline headed to an apartment that she seemed to have, even if unregistered, which was the last place where someone had seen her alive.

The place was protected, but they made it through with some of their gadgets. The scene they found was terrible: the place all messed up, the agent dead on the floor... There wasn't much they could do, except giving her a decent funeral and looking for clues of her partner's whereabouts. When Valerian was doing that (look for clues) in the main bedroom of the apartment, he heard some muffled sounds coming from a wardrobe, and went to see what was making it.

He found the agent's two kids hugging each other, terrified, possibly after days being locked in the closet, afraid that their mother's attacker was back. She probably had locked them and told them to be quiet to protect them. Valerian was surprisingly gentle and sensitive with them, even insisted on staying with the kids until they were given to their father.

Laureline asked about it, because she had never seen Valerian act like that, so caring, so comforting and most of all caring about people over the mission. It was odd for him, but of character. Unusual. But he was quiet (another odd thing) and told Laureline that he didn't want to talk about it. There was something different about him, even if he insisted that nothing was wrong.

But something was most definitely wrong, no matter how much he tried to hide it or deny it. Something about that last mission (probably about the kids) shook him up and it affecting him, a lot. He had more nightmares, that often ended in heart-wrenching screams, some nights didn't sleep at all, seemed all the time exhausted. He also ate less and had trouble keeping down what he did ate. Laureline had been a bit worried at first, now she was extremely concerned.

But there was no illness, no underlying physical cause, the medics said. Probably just overworked himself, doctors said, being no help at all. Just make him take a couple of days off, keep an eye that he rests properly, they said, as if it were that easy. Valerian was a smart guy and he knew how to pretend he was okay, or asleep if he wanted to. He would claim that he simply didn't want to worry her. Well, too fucking late for that now, boy.

Every time she tried to help, to dig further into what was happening, he pushed her away, drifted further. Sometimes he would even avoid her, which was something that Valerian had never done, and that made her very very angry. She was just trying to take care of him, seeing that he refused to take care of himself. But he found ways to escape her and her concern, until she had almost (but not quite) given up.

The tipping point came when, after almost three nights without any sleep, he fainted during a mission. They were chasing an escaping suspect through a field and Valerian just collapsed in mid run, dropping his weapons and then almost being ran over by the vehicle with the back up agents. Laureline had been ahead, and when she turned to brag that she caught and cuffed the suspect on her own, she saw him, there, lifeless on the grass.

What was worse, he didn't wake up for seventeen hours, and, once again, there was no physical cause for his state. No reason for him to be unconscious all that time. Laureline wanted to think that maybe this was him catching up on sleep, but no, she knew she wasn't sleeping, wasn't resting. He was passed out, he was too weak, too thin, and this had gone too far.

When he woke up, she was there, as she had been the whole time.

"We need to talk...?"

"What?...." He was looking around, confused.

"You collapsed while we were chasing the thief. You've been out for almost a day."

There was silence while Valerian tried to find a sitting position to talk to Laureline. The world was still swimming a bit, but he could tell that Laureline was dead serious.

"You need to tell me what's been going on with you, now."

There was no escaping. He was too weak to run, too tired and foggy to invent something good. Valerian just looked at the floor, dreading the conversation. He had never been good at opening up about himself, about his past. It was hard for him... but he'd failed Laureline during a mission, she probably deserved to know why.

"This is clearly something that has to do with that mission with the kids, that affected you. Now, I don't want to get you into mandatory therapy, but if I have to, I will."

Valerian threw a hurt look in her direction.

"But I won't, if you talk to me. I know you prefer to talk to me than some stranger, and you know you can tell me anything. I will not judge you, I will not mock you. I'm just trying to get you back."

She caressed his cheek, and he looked at her with eyes full of sadness and regret. This was so unlike him, so... different.

"All right. Bit it's a bit of a long story."

"No hurry. I'm listening."

He sighed and began. It was difficult to put it into words after so long holding it in, and his voice broke. Badly.

"My mum... she was a factory worker. Didn't have a lot of money but she worked a lot of hours so I could have a decent life. It was just her and me, my... father left before I was born. Never knew him. Anyways, when I was five one of my teachers thought that I was one of those gifted super smart children, and started preparing me for tests and things. My mum took out all her savings to send me to a fancy school like yours, signed up for more shifts.

Somebody heard, and wanted that money she had. She started locking the door, double locking it, telling me what I should do if there was an intruder. One day, I woke up and she was dead on the floor of the kitchen, her head split open. I tried to call for help, tried to get the door open but couldn't and so I did what she told me to do if something went wrong. Go to the wardobe and be quiet, like those kids.

I wasn't found until four days later, when neighbors complained about the smell."

He hadn't told anyone about that. He felt ashamed but liberated at the same time. He hated having secrets with her; the rest of the world, he didn't mind, but her....

"Valerian, I'm so sorry... Where did they take you after that?"

"A... facility for orphaned children. We wore uniforms and have identical beds, identical everything. Lots of kids, not a lot of food or resources. Nearly died the first year. So I had to build myself back up. Become more abrasive, bolder and meaner, if I wanted to get food, to survive. I realised that in my whole life the only support system I would have was me, so I started telling my self good things, so I would believe them and gain the confidence, not just to survive, but get out of that place, have a better life. I played roles, so that people would like, help me. People always trust confidence, it helps. That's... that's how I came to be the arrogant idiot I am today."

There was a moment of silence and tears started streamed down his face. It was getting harder to speak, the lump on his throat too big. He had known it would be hard, but still...

"So... those kids in the closet you saw..." Laureline prompted, wanting to know more. This was making her understand him so much better. Things made more sense, he made more sense.

"They brought it all back. You see, I remembered mum, but I had a blank between the day I last saw her and my first days at the institution. I blocked the wardrobe, the crying, mum lying on the floor... All the horror of those days. And I couldn't do it to them, too. From the moment they found me, I was alone. No one spoke to me, they thought I was too small to understand anyways. But they left me alone, brought to that horrible place, and I was alone for most of my life. I wanted to know those kids wouldn't go to some place like that. I wanted them to feel they were not alone."

"You're not alone anymore." Laureline said, caressing his hand. "I just wish I could go back in time to be there for the smaller you, give you a hug."

Valerian was still lost in his (clearly traumatic) memories.

"I just... what if she was still alive when I found her? I was so small, I can't really remember if I checked properly. And what if the man who did that is still out there? Why didn't I look? Since those kids, I keep seeing her in dreams and I feel like... this is stupid..."

"TELL ME"

"...like whoever did that to mum... will come for me next. Or you."

_Stupid, weak, little -_

Valerian's thoughts were interrupted by Laureline, who sounded decided and not to be messed with. Valerian didn't normally open up like that: she needed to make sure he felt understood, respected in his feelings, and that he felt that telling her all that had been useful and necessary. So she thought of ways to fix things.

"If they want to hurt you, they will have to go through me first. I'll sleep with a weapon, you can have another one under your pillow."

"I-"

"We'll see what happened to your mother's case, find the culprit if they weren't found, hopefully just have to go to a prison cell or a grave. Give you some closure."

"And if there's anything else that is haunting, you tell me. You don't let it eat you up until you collapse in a field. We're a team, remember?"

"Yes."

She smiled, a soft, gentle smile she reserved just for him.

"I like this part of you too, you know. The part of you who is kind to children because no one was kind to him as a child. The one who is afraid."

She cleaned the tear tracks from his face, and lay down next to him, carefully.

"Thanks for listening. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You know what? I don't what I'd do without having you around either. So take better care of yourself, ok?"

"For you, Laureline, anything." He said, leaning into her embrace while in the bed. "I would do absolutely anything."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked! Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm taking prompts for Valerian h/c or sickfics, because I love that boy and there is so little fic
> 
> Feedback means the world, please say so if you liked!!


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